As girls grow into teens, it's important that they receive appropriate medical care. Doctors recommend that young women have their first visit with an obstetrician-gynecologist (OB/GYN) between the ages of 13 and 15 or when they become sexually active, whichever comes first.

However, if your daughter complains of missed or painful periods, unusual vaginal secretions, or other problems that may be associated with her reproductive health before that, she should have an exam as soon as possible.

The idea of having a pelvic exam can make a girl feel nervous, embarrassed, or scared. By explaining why the visit is necessary, giving your daughter a sense of what to expect, and addressing any questions or fears she might have, you can help her feel more comfortable about taking this step.

Explaining the Importance of the Exam

Chances are, your daughter has associated visits to the doctor with health problems. She may not understand why she would go to the doctor when she feels perfectly fine.

Explain that the visit serves at least three main purposes:

1. Information. She can get accurate information and confidential answers to any questions she may have concerning sex, sexuality, and her changing body.
2. Prevention. The doctor checks the reproductive organs to make sure they're developing as they should, and to head off any health problems that may be developing.
3. Treatment. For girls who experience missed periods, pain, and other reproductive problems, the doctor can find out why the problems are occurring and offer treatment.

Also, you may want to reassure your daughter that even though there are a lot of different parts of the gynecological exam, the entire exam — and the part she might feel most uncomfortable about — doesn't take long. In fact, the pelvic exam often isn't done at the initial visit to the OB/GYN.

Selecting a Health Practitioner

The doctor or nurse that your daughter sees should be someone who takes the time to make her feel as comfortable as possible. Though you have probably been the dominant force in making your daughter's health decisions up until now, it's wise to involve her in this one.

Here are some ways to gauge your daughter's preferences:

• Ask your daughter what type of health professional she would prefer. A male or female? Someone who is younger or older? In some cases, she might be able to stick with the pediatrician or family physician she has seen before. If either of you would like to move on, though, you have a variety of health professionals to choose from: nurse practitioners, general practitioners, or gynecologists.
• Before sending your daughter to the health professional that you use, check to see if she is comfortable with that. Some girls might be hesitant to confide in someone who has a connection to their mother.
• Ask her if she would like you to be in the exam room with her. Whatever your daughter decides, allow her some time alone with the doctor or nurse practitioner. You want your daughter to be completely honest with the doctor, not withhold information that she is too embarrassed to share in your presence. In addition, alone time will allow her to recognize the physician as an objective and knowledgeable person to talk to about any concerns she may have in the future.

Your needs are important, too — you should trust this person with giving your daughter appropriate information about important decisions in her life. Once you have your daughter's input, use these suggestions to find a doctor who best fits your family's needs.

• Get a referral. Ask your family doctor for recommendations. If you have close friends who have recently taken a daughter to her first exam, ask them if they liked their health professional. If there is a particular hospital or practice you prefer, see a physician or nurse practitioner associated with that facility.
• Ask questions. Ask about the health professional's confidentiality policy. This may affect how open your daughter is during the exam. Most offices will not share the details of the exam with the parent unless the patient says it's OK or if the physician feels that the child may be engaged in an activity that could be harmful. Also, different states have different rules with regard to confidentiality and notifying parents about contraceptive use.

Other questions you may want to ask:

• Do you accept my insurance?
• Are you board certified?
• What is your approach toward a teen's level of sexual activity?
• Do you have experience with first-time patients and teens?
• Will a different health professional examine my daughter every time she goes?
• How many people will be in the examining room?

Share the answers to these questions with your daughter. And don't hesitate to interview several health practitioners before deciding on the best fit.

Remember: Ultimately, it's your daughter's feet that are in those stirrups. Try to select a doctor who will make her as safe, informed, and comfortable as possible.

About the Exam

Before the appointment, try to give your daughter a sense of what will happen in the exam room. Most gynecological exams include certain procedures, though they may not occur in the same order in every office.

It's important for your daughter not only to know what to expect, but why the doctor is doing it and how any discomfort she is feeling can be minimized. If applicable — and both of you are comfortable with the idea — consider letting your daughter see these steps firsthand by sitting in on one of your exams.

The Talk

Your daughter should be prepared to answer questions the doctor asks relating to her medical and reproductive history, including:

• When was your last period?
• Are you sexually active? If so, are you using birth control?
• Are you having any problems with your period, such as discharge or pain?
• Do you think you are pregnant?

Through this discussion, the doctor will be able to get a sense of which tests to run and what issues to discuss. Stress to your daughter the importance of answering these questions truthfully, even though she might feel uncomfortable about it. For example, the health professional can help determine, based on your daughter's sexual history, whether she is at risk for sexually transmitted diseases (STDs). If she is, the doctor will know to test for them.

Encourage your daughter to ask any and all questions she has — no matter how stupid or embarrassing she fears they may be. Let her know that nothing she says will be something that the doctor or nurse hasn't heard before or will share with anyone else. Remind her that this information is confidential.

The Physical

Your daughter has probably experienced a physical before, so most of this will be familiar territory for her.

One of the health care workers, probably an assistant or nurse rather than the doctor, will measure your daughter's blood pressure, weight, height, and other factors. Her head, neck, breasts, heart, lungs, and abdomen will also be examined. Your daughter may also provide a urine sample. This examination gives the doctor background on your daughter's general health and a baseline to use for comparisons in future exams.

The Breast Exam

During this part of the exam, the doctor or practitioner will do a breast exam to make sure that your daughter is developing normally and to detect cysts or other benign (noncancerous) breast problems. The doctor also will show your daughter how to do a breast self-exam, which helps her become familiar with how her breasts feel so that she knows which lumps are normal and which may indicate a potential problem.

The External Vaginal Examination

If she hasn't already, your daughter will undress and put on an examination gown. She will lie on the table with her knees bent and spread apart. In this position, the doctor will check the vulva (the external genitalia). Her pelvis and thighs will be draped with a sheet. To make the position more comfortable, she will place her feet in stirrups.

The purpose of this part of the exam is to make sure there are no sores, swelling, or any other problems with the outside of the vagina.

The Internal Vaginal Examination

The doctor will place one hand on the outside of your daughter's abdomen and a two fingers inside the vagina. The doctor will also insert a speculum (a slender plastic or metal instrument) into the vagina.

The clinician's hands are used to make sure that the ovaries and uterus are in the correct location, the correct size and shape, and free of pain or discomfort. The speculum allows the doctor to visually examine the walls of the vagina and the cervix and to perform screening tests, such as a Pap smear and tests for STDs.

Let your daughter know that she may feel some pressure, but this shouldn't hurt. She may be able to decrease any discomfort by taking slow, deep breaths and relaxing her stomach and vaginal muscles. In addition, the clinician will likely make efforts to make her feel more comfortable by starting up a conversation or having interesting posters in the room to stare at.

The Pap Smear

While your daughter is lying on the exam table, the doctor or nurse will gently touch a cotton swab and then a small cylindrical brush to the surface of the cervix.

The cells that are collected on the brush are sent to a lab to check for abnormalities, which might be a sign of infection or other health problems, such as cervical cancer.

The Pap smear will likely not hurt. At most, some women notice a slight, quick twinge.

Sexually Transmitted Diseases Test (Optional)

Testing for STDs is not automatically included in a gynecological exam. Usually, a patient has to request this service. The clinician obtains the sample with a cotton swab (just like during the Pap smear).

The sample is sent to a lab, where it is tested for STDs like gonorrhea, genital warts, and chlamydia. When talking to your daughter about whether she should get tested, it's important that she know that intercourse isn't the only way to contract these infections.

The office staff can let you know different options for getting the results confidentially. For instance, instead of calling the patient or sending a letter with the results, some offices require the patient to call in.

Once you and your daughter have gone to the first exam, encourage her to talk about the experience (as much as she is comfortable). If she indicates that the doctor or nurse practitioner made her feel uncomfortable, discuss finding a new one. Once she starts, your daughter should continue to go for gynecologic exams every year to keep her informed and healthy.

Reviewed by: Barbara P. Homeier, MD
Date reviewed: September 2005